Relationship Bliss or Amiss?

 

I truly believe that life will never hand you more than you can handle, and whatever life hands to you, it gives it to you exactly when you need it and the trick is figuring out what exactly it is that you need out of it at that time. Good or bad there is a lesson to be learned, being self aware, or self actualized means you’re able to pull that lesson out of each experience and use it to move forward in your life and to better the relationship you have with yourself.

Relationships are a massive part of our lives, just think of all the ones you have, family, co-workers, lovers, friends, the barista at your coffee shop, and of course the most important one is the one you have with yourself. Some relationships flourish and some fail.

We’ve all been in a love relationship that wasn’t going well or that ended badly. We’ve all been in the midst of despair and a broken heart and we’ve all eventually seen incredible hindsight.

What I want to talk about is hanging onto dysfunctional relationships or the attachment to expectations of a what that relationship “is” supposed to or “was” supposed to be or “could” be. Again, another area where hanging on leads to “stuckification” which can lead to a feeling of imprisonment in you own mind and ultimately suffering.

It’s important to learn, and here we go again (seems to be a hot topic), how to let go. When you’re in the middle of that heartbreak or feeling of despair, try focusing on the relationship you have with yourself. Go back to you. Thinking that it was good once so it must be good again is probably a deep fear of change and a deeper fear of looking within to see what it is that keeps you hanging onto that suffering? And maybe if you look further you’ll see a pattern? Here is where you read all the signals and pull that lesson right out and run forward with it!

If you want to be free, you must let go.

When we were kids we were taught to play nice in the sandbox, we were taught to treat others as we would like to be treated. Good lessons indeed but who taught us how to treat ourselves? Holding onto the dysfunction or the expectations is bad for you. It’s stressful, it’s unhealthy, it’s like eating a mouthful of sand, you only did that once I’m guessing. Maybe that was just me.

If you are looking elsewhere to fill your time, space, needs and desires or always looking for that next relationship or just “a” relationship, then you’re never going to find happiness. Think about that, making it someone else’s responsibility for your happiness? That’s a lot of pressure, on them and on you, I mean how can someone else make you happy if you can’t make you happy?

Stop that and do this:

  1. Learn to love yourself more. Wake up smiling, go to sleep smiling. Be grateful every moment of every day for what you already have. Look around and see the beauty in the small things, and look into the mirror every day and see the amazing person you are. Have you seen you?!
  2. Put that amazing love of yours into action. Eat healthy food, REAL food. Be active. Share your time with good people. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it.
  3. Hang out with you, have a party! Date you. Lose the dependency on others for companionship. Prepare a nice meal, play some music, sing, write, go to the movies alone, have a drink in a bar alone (I did this recently and it was the most enjoyable experience, I made two new friends!)

Doing this daily will open you up to all kinds of possibilities and believe it or not, a healthier and deeper connection with others all as a result of the one you have with you.

Have you seen you? I mean really seen you? Have a look, you’re pretty awesome, I bet you’d want to date you.

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